Today I am reading through my old blog posts, most of them are funny and some are somewhat personal life struggles. I never really had a goal in mind when I started writing these blogs but I'm glad I did. It's kind of like a journal that anyone can read. The people reading them are there to lend a word of advice or just a simple comment to let you know they are offering a shoulder or a listening ear through written words. Maybe, just being heard is enough to know you are meant for something in this life.
I read a quote some time ago and it has never left me... "Be the person you needed when you were younger." That says a million words and has a million different outcomes if you follow it through. I needed a real friend that didn't make fun of me. I needed parents to teach me that mistakes are normal, that patience is a waiting period and doesn't consist of yelling. I needed adults to look at me as if I'm in an adult training course and they are the coaches... I needed an adult to teach me how to hold a conversation and how to listen when others spoke. I needed an adult to tell me about the dangers of life instead of just telling me don't do it. I needed my parents to look at me and smile or laugh because I was being funny. I needed teachers to recognize that my grades were bad because I was scared or embarrassed to ask questions. I needed teachers to teach me lessons and not just read from a book with answers. I needed anyone to ask me about my life and if I was happy. I needed someone to ask me what was wrong without fear of saying something to make them mad. I needed adults to know that my opinion was worth at least listening to, it may not have been right, but they could've listened. I needed my dad to see me as an adult when I turned 18. I needed to be encouraged to take chances, apply for jobs that I wasn't qualified for, talk to people that are way above my intelligence. Most of all, I needed someone to teach me about personal boundaries, how important it is for me and my future children, that I should never let someone mistreat me, verbally, mentally, emotionally and/ or physically...it is my right to protect me, that I can and have the right to say no, it's not my job to keep others happy at my life's expense.
With that all said, I could add so much more but I guess that is the main topics of what I needed. I've always been told that I was a good mom, I could criticize my parenting skills throughout the years and point out all the mistakes I've made with each of my children, but I cannot say anything bad about how my children turned out. I must've done something right, lol. They are absolutely a blessing and I love their conversations and company, and I hope they feel important in this world. They are now 30, 20, and 12... no longer kids, well my 12-year-old is I guess. But very mature for her age. I do have others that consider me as a 'mom', most were my sons' friends and are now 30 with children also, Nicole, Ryan, Shawn, Cody, Seldom, Marley, Savannah and Maggie. They were young teens, excited about the world and their lives to come; they were so funny and always happy. I loved and still love those kids (I know they're not kids anymore.) I had a blast with all of them. I think with that quote in my head all these years, I seen them as individuals with different paths ahead of them and always listened to their crazy schemes. My house was the hangout, when we were all together around the kitchen table...many times gathered there or dancing in the living room, their voices and laughter were just as important as anyone else's. They are now all very well-mannered adults, great parents, and so full of life. I really hope that they have true joy in their heart and see their children as individuals who need to be different and allow them to make mistakes. I hope they, as parents, be a teacher to their children, and not just a boss to them. Kids learn more with patience and understanding rather than anger and disappointment.
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