my son, a fatherless child ...i need advice

Bryan, my son, which is 13. I had him when i was 16, i was young and didn't know half of what i was doing, much less how to raise a kid, but i did with the help of my mother. i never took the time to watch him grow because i was still growing myself. i never read a lot of stories to him, or sang many songs, or let him sleep with me. The only way i can explain it, i was young and embarrassed. i was too shy at the time to show him attention in front of anyone. i wasn't raised with a huggy kissy family so i hardly ever hugged or kissed on him . now when it was just me and him it was different, i did love on him, i thought he was the most precious thing in the world, i loved the smell of his hair, it was so blond and so soft. i used to stare at him constantly and just think how perfect he was and that he was mine. my boyfriend at the time (not his father) was mentally and phiscally abusive, i didn't think much about it because that's what i watched growing up myself. i was more interested in what and who my boyfriend was doing rather than teaching my son basic life. When Bryan turned about a year and a half old, i met someone shawn, (which i later married) that was willing to take my son as his own and love him, I moved out of my mothers home and we moved in together and mom put Bryan in my arms with tears in her eyes and said, "Its time to be a mom now Rose". I wasn't a bad mom before i just relyed on my mother for a lot of things. That is when i somewhat started to show affection, but not much. I just thought at that time it was wrong to show a growing boy alot of affection since i was a girl...I know now, it was wrong.... Shawn was the only thing Bryan knew as a dad so he became "daddy" we were a family, life was going great, he knew his ABC's, he could count, he knew his left from right, i was teaching him songs we were doing good i was being a mom. We got married so my father had bought us a house...right across the street from him...gave Shawn a job, we couldn't do anything right, my dad would come over and try to run our lives every day, we didn't mow the grass on time, he didn't like our friends, that lasted about a year, Shawn looked at me and said " I can't take much more, i have to get out of here, lets move." I said " Bryan starts kindergarten in a week we can't move" I was stubborn, so he packed his stuff and left us on Bryans first day of school, never even seen him get on the bus.... We were kinda separated but still seeing each other, Bryan would go and stay with him sometimes and so would I. He got a good job making good money. while I was still being controlled by my dad, we were planning to find a place together somewhere. A few months went by and I was on vacation with a few friends and get a phone call...Shawn had wrecked his motorcyle, 5 days later he died. I am a widow at 22. My son lost his daddy. Chris (his real dad) had order a blood test Chris was his biologicalfather. now he is getting to know his real dad, staying on the weekends, his dads family forbids let him talk about Shawn, or mention him as "daddy". Bryans about 6 or 7 now, he's getting used to Chris being "dad" in front of Chris' family, how do you tell that to a kid that their dad of 6 years isn't daddy? he hasn't forgotten about his "daddy" (he knew it was ok with me to call him daddy when he wanted to talk about him) I read the paper and see his name on the front page..Chris gets put in prision, sentenced for 15 years, he had been on drugs and murdered a man and his wife. I WAS SHOCKED! i had known Chris for 10 years and never thought he would ever do something like this, and my son had been going there on the weekends?!! OH LORD! Well there goes another dad! Now what....He is completely lost in the world at this time. School is pure hell on him, his grades are none to be proud of. he used to be a perfect kid never used get in trouble and now he's acting out looking for attention. which is understandable. So i take over the roll of MOM an DAD, i teach him how to play basketball and how to throw a football and to the best of my knowledge..how to be a man...but it still don't fill the void of a father. He turns 8, i'm engaged to get married.....and i'm pregnant. a baby sister...something that he can't wait for, he is so excited. I'm about 6 months pregnant and i don't feel her move one day ...i freak out, (she was a very active baby) so me and Bryan go to the doctor to see what is wrong....he is in the room with me when they do an ultra sound. the doctor can't find a heartbeat. shes gone. at six months i never thought anything could go wrong, but it did. Bryan had to witness that too. He turns 10 everythings going pretty good, he goes over to his grandmas house (Chris' mom) for the weekend.......I get a phone call to come and get Bryan, They had found his Grandpa murdered down the road......WHAT? I couldn't believe what i was hearing.... I ask myself "why does everything have to happen to this child", and you know he still can hold his head up and laugh at people's jokes and be a normal kid...how does he do it? He's 13 now, he's is a very soft hearted kid, he makes bad grades in school, always has. But he's not hateful, he's not a trouble maker, he gets along with everybody. what this whole story boils down too is; the school is wanting me to put him on medicine because they think he has ADD. He doesn't have ADD he has a L.O.T. (Life Of Tragedy) If they could only put their self in his shoes and live his past as a child they would probably be drug heads or alcholics by now....i try to teach him to love everyone and don't take anyone for granted, respect your elders and grow up to be an honest man.. (he cries alot about not having a dad) He asked me one night his words..."Mom, how can i ever be a good dad to my kids when i grow up? " I said, " what do you mean?' he said," well, i don't have a dad to show me how, so i'm afraid that i won't know what to, i don't know what dads are supposed do mom...i just don't know," i just cried....i told him that he was a good person and and he had a heart as big as the world and he he is awesome with his sister, that right there is all you need. I really don't know what to tell him because i've always had a dad, i feel so sorry for him i don't know what to do. Should I take him to see a doctor or get counseling?? i need advice. Oh yeah.....i need to mention that i have a beautiful daughter (which is named after Bryan)...Breanne... And i am doing everything that i didn't do with Bryan in the past.... i include him in everything too.."Bubby" is everything in that girls eyes, and she is everything in his!!